shattered

It’s been a little over a year since I posted I was doing my first attempt at getting pregnant. Since then a lot has happened. I thought I knew what pain was the first time I saw the “not pregnant” sign on the test. It turns out I had absolutely no clew. My heart has been shattered into a million different pieces almost every months for a year now. Every time I think it can’t break any further life kicks me back down and proves me wrong.

When I started this journey I knew it wouldn’t be a walk in the park. I knew it would be a fight for my survival and that of my child every single day. But, this was supposed to be the easy part. Never in my worst nightmares would I have been able to imagine this. To feel so damn helpless, it’s awful. Getting pregnant isn’t supposed to be this hard. How many times have we heard about people getting pregnant by accident? We hear it all around us. Even people who shouldn’t even have children to begin with get pregnant. And then there are those who don’t want to have any children but get pregnant accidentally anyway. IT IS NOT FAIR! And yes, I know, life isn’t fair. But seriously, isn’t my life hard enough already? Why is everything in my life such a fight to stay alive? to live the life I want to live? Of this incredible hard journey I’ll embark on, why can’t this part be a little easier?

I’ve only ever tried to make this world a better place and my goal every day is to leave this amazing earth better than it was before I found my way here. So sometimes I wonder… why? I don’t know… But sometimes I wonder how much more my heart will be able to handle.

Happy Father’s day!

Happy fathers day everyone!

It is a day that I am reminded to be thankful. Thankful for my dad ànd my mom. Because I have parents who support me, love me and cherish me, I am also reminded that there are many children out there that are alone. No dad, no moms who are also dads. That is a tragedy…

So even if you think you have no dad, you do! Whether you have a mom, who’s also your dad or two moms who are also dads or two dads celebrate this day! Be thankful for the fact that you have a family; it doesn’t matter what that family looks like or if you are family by blood. It is still something to cherish.

So to my family, my mom and dad who supported me through all the hard and challenging times, thank you! Thank you for making me such a resilient young woman, thank you for teaching me to be open-minded, accepting and without prejudice. It wasn’t always easy, but we made it. Thank you for the opportunity to outgrow you. Thank you for letting go and letting me choose my path.

And to my dad, thank you for showing me what a good husband looks like. Thank you for showing me I am worthy of a man’s love. Thank you for showing me what a great dad looks like.

To my mom, thank you for showing me what a genuinely confident, independent woman looks like. Thank you, for being my role model. Thank you for showing me I am also worthy of a woman’s love. Thank you for showing me a breathtaking partnership.

🌈For pride month, let’s all let go of the notion of a perfect family. An ideal family looks different for everyone. Anyone can form a family because love is what makes a family. 🌈